I've officiated at somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 funerals in part or in whole. That's not counting the funerals I've attended just as a friend, family member or church member. That's a lot of funerals, believe me.
I think about what my own funeral should be like. After all, I am an old man, I have a stent in my heart etc. etc.
If you have to have a service, and I think everyone should, I think the graveside is the best part of the whole process. I don't mean a graveside service held in a gorgeous chapel with stained glass windows and wooden pews, near the entrance of the cemetery. I like a graveside service where the mourners drive back through the cemetery, under trees, past other tombstones. Mourners stand on the grass, they see the casket ready to go into the hole in the ground, the minister says a few words. There is Scripture and prayer and the people stand there in the sun or shade, rain or snow, good weather or bad, breeze or calm. There is a reality and a finality to the graveside that is very powerful and meaningful and helpful. As a pastor, I know what I would choose if I could only have one aspect of the whole process of visitation, service in a church building or funeral home, and graveside service.
One of the worst things that has happened to the whole funeral process is the internet. Because of the internet, people now have more access to a lot of sentimental death culture literature that is theologically wrong, unBiblical or antiBiblical, Muslim, New Age, Hindu, Budhist, etc. and Christian people don't even realize that the theology is wrong. It's frustrating when a service is conducted for a Christian and there is a proper emphasis on their life in Christ and the hope we have as taught in the Scripture and then a family member gets up and reads a poem that is based on godless philosophy or religions that are invented and perpetuated by Satan and demons. Has it come to the point that Christian ministers need to preview and edit everything that everyone is going to say or sing at the funeral?
Enough on that, but the best thing I've seen a family come up with in the last umpteen years was at a funeral of a man who loved to make and fire muzzle loading and flint lock guns. The family had a detail of pallbearers who shot off a round at the graveside. It honored the deceased and his interests and that is very appropriate along with the words of comfort that come from God's Word.